Five Promises for 2014,

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I sit here and type my last post for 2013, I sit and reflect.  This year hasn't been the greatest for me.  I've become lazy, unmotivated, and my demons are coming back.  I had an amazing internship possibly slip out of my fingers, my grandmother passed away before Christmas, and I've been given a death sentence.  But you know, at the same time, I've achieved so much.  A promotion.  A raise.  Getting over my anxiety (for the most part), and you know, that's something to be happy for.

I don't do "new year's resolutions" because, like most people, I commit for a week and go back to what I was doing before.  But this year, I am trying my best to fulfill these promises I'm making to myself.  Maybe you can join me.

1. Become more optimistic - I may seem like a positive person, but in reality, I sit in my room and beat myself up over every little thing I've never done or am not motivated enough to do.  Instead of beating myself up over things, I want to become that person that sees a little bit of light in bad times, even the ones I'm dealing with right now.
2. Get healthy - I know this is one that is the most broken resolution, but I'm setting the bar lower than I ever have before.  Instead of saying I need to go to the gym five days a week and eat nothing but fruit and air, I want to start at least once a week.  One day of the week eating yummy, healthy food and exercising.  Then two.  Then three.  I've noticed that when I'm thrown into a brand new routine, I tend to break it almost immediately, whether it's good for me or not.  But each person is different.  If you can work out five days a week and juice everything for a week, you go for it!  I'm just someone that needs to be introduced to something gradually, and that's okay!
3. Call family more - When my grandma passed away, I would call her every other month to see how she was doing.  No one else.  No uncles, aunts, brothers.  I didn't call her before she passed away on the 23rd, and there's a part of me that still feels guilty, though I've been told a million times that I shouldn't.  I want to be able to get to know more of my family this year, even if it means just leaving a message and letting them know I was thinking of them.  I know that phone calls mean a lot to me; maybe calling them more than once every other month will mean something to them.
4. Be the boss of your time - I'm a fan of the show Doctor Who, and my favorite Doctor, Matt Smith, has said a few quotes in his tenure as the raggedy man that I thought I would share with you:

"I am and always will be the optimist.  The hoper of far-flung hopes, the dreamer of improbable dreams.  You see, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.  The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't always spoil the good things and make them unimportant.  No matter what, make today extraordinary."

I don't want to settle for the mundane life I have let myself live in 2013.  I want to travel, see the world.  Touch the clouds and the bottom of the oceans.  Go to concerts and climb mountains and take jobs I never thought I could.  Take time for myself and for my friends.  I want to run towards things, not away, before the fade away forever.  I'm a sick 20-year-old who's hardly lived because of fear and anxiety.  My life is very finite at this point.  I want to experience it before I can't anymore. 

     5.  Tell people I love them more - No explanation.  It's as simple as that.

Starting the first, I'll accomplish something I've been dreading for months:  taking my progesterone.  And for those of you who know what progesterone does, this could mean an easy 2014 or a year from hell.  So here's to 2014.  Whether you suck donkey teeth or are the best year of my life, I'm ready to experience you.  Tomorrow is page one of a brand new 365-page saga.  Time to write something good, huh?